The pub - a hotbed of lies and deceit. A place where complete untruths are regularly peddled about the very drink in your hand. Enough is enough, let The Chapar call time on the biggest beer myths and bring some much-needed truth to the bar.
Cans are inferior to bottles
A much cited “fact”, that probably originated from the marketing department of a glass bottle factory. Aluminium cans are far superior to glass in keeping beer fresh, stopping UV light degrading hop compounds in your brew and skunking the beer - the term for when your pint smells like the odour emitted from a skunk’s anal glands (never a good thing).
Old beer is bad beer
Not so according to craft beer titans Brewdog. While some brews such as IPA are best drunk fresh, “higher ABV beers, can age beautifully and develop new, interesting and intriguing flavors!” A good reason then try this ancient bevvy that was recently found (and deemed drinkable) chilling on a 220-year-old shipwreck.
Darker beers make for worse hangovers
There’s only one thing that gives you a hangover, and it’s not the colour, it’s the beer’s strength (and how many pints of it you knock back). The more alcohol, the more intense the feeling of death the next day - it’s simple as that. Darker beers are often thought to be stronger in ABV but this is utter rubbish, with many black brews such as Guinness coming in at relatively sensible 4.2%.
Beer causes a beer belly
Numerous studies have put this myth to bed only for it to get up again and again like an unruly toddler. The real cause of a chubby midriff is eating too much food and doing zero exercise. While beer may contribute extra calories to your diet, it’s no more likely to cause weight gain than any other drink or food. Menshealth.com even reported that a review of 31 studies found that “moderate alcohol use appeared benign, and some even found that moderate drinkers were thinner on average, regardless of preferred beverage.”
Bubbles on the side of the glass are a good thing
Lovely bubbles all round the side of your glass - what a lovely sight. Wrong, it’s actually a sign that you should grab the landlord and give him a particularly intense titty twister for not washing his glassware sufficiently. The bubbles of CO2 are fixing onto dirt and grime that really shouldn’t be in your pint. Demand your money back and free bag of crisps, or you’ll give ‘em a measly three stars on Tripadvisor.
Wine before beer feeling queer
Just because it rhymes doesn’t mean it’s true, if that were the case you could genuinely keep the doctor away with an apple a day, and identify the perpetrator of flatulence solely through the one ‘who smelt it’. It doesn’t matter what order you take your drinks, the culprit for that queer sick feeling is simply drinking too much glorious booze.